I can't be assed being serious, so I'm going with a satirical viewpoint.
So 2000+ years have past since the death of Christ, we've prayed to stop war, we've prayed to stop poverty, we've prayed to stop disease, we've prayed to stop hatred and bigotry; when all along we should have been praying to stop chalk from breaking. I feel ashamed Lord; how could I have overlooked the most oppressed of all your creations. Why that boy is no less than a latter day Moses. Moses may have parted the red sea, but praying Jesus boy parted the black-board and saved the chalk people from thousands of years of tyranny.
To be honest with you, I was quite taken aback at your choice of chosen people at first; but luckily my faith allows me to assume that this falls under the, "The lord works in mysterious ways", clause. Lets face it though; given a choice between stepping in to save those godless heathens in Haiti, and rescuing a piece of chalk, there was only one clear choice.
However, there are still some things I am not clear on: Will the chalk people set up their own Church in your name? And if so, what are the builders going to use to mark the levels on the walls? Can snooker players now be prosecuted for crimes against chalkmanity? Was the professors first name Thomas? In the new scriptures, can we call the student, "Praying Jesus Boy"? You know, give him a modern day super hero, kinda spin.
Well, it's time to sleep now lord. I hope to hear from you soon; but if I don't, I'll just chalk it up to experience. Oops, is that blasphemy now?
Prayer to God.
So 2000+ years have past since the death of Christ, we've prayed to stop war, we've prayed to stop poverty, we've prayed to stop disease, we've prayed to stop hatred and bigotry; when all along we should have been praying to stop chalk from breaking. I feel ashamed Lord; how could I have overlooked the most oppressed of all your creations. Why that boy is no less than a latter day Moses. Moses may have parted the red sea, but praying Jesus boy parted the black-board and saved the chalk people from thousands of years of tyranny.
To be honest with you, I was quite taken aback at your choice of chosen people at first; but luckily my faith allows me to assume that this falls under the, "The lord works in mysterious ways", clause. Lets face it though; given a choice between stepping in to save those godless heathens in Haiti, and rescuing a piece of chalk, there was only one clear choice.
However, there are still some things I am not clear on: Will the chalk people set up their own Church in your name? And if so, what are the builders going to use to mark the levels on the walls? Can snooker players now be prosecuted for crimes against chalkmanity? Was the professors first name Thomas? In the new scriptures, can we call the student, "Praying Jesus Boy"? You know, give him a modern day super hero, kinda spin.
Well, it's time to sleep now lord. I hope to hear from you soon; but if I don't, I'll just chalk it up to experience. Oops, is that blasphemy now?
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